Hard days

October 22, 2021

Seems my mind is in disconnect mode lately, that survival mechanism it uses to get me through to the second week of November and past the death date of my oldest son (November 5). This is that second hard time of the year for our family (the first being his birthday was July 4th and a really big family get-together day). Some years since the day he died in 2013 are harder than others. Why one year is more difficult for some of us and then not the next just doesn’t make sense. It belies explanation… but there it is.

This year seems to be the harder one for me, and not just because we’re coming up on Jeff’s death date. This Saturday, October 23, is 50 years since my mama died of metastatic breast cancer. She died in the early morning on a Saturday. I was 14 years old. I hadn’t even seen her since the day in late September when she was readmitted to the hospital – because back then they didn’t let kids under a certain age in to visit patients. I hadn’t even had time to get to know my mama before her life ended. Why her death should bother me this much all of a sudden… is just strange.

Maybe it’s all the heartbreaking stressful things plaguing our family this past year. I’m considered the “strong one” in the family and here I am having a very hard time while still being the biggest support for Jerry, my kids, and grandkids.


This next week will be very mind-straining (how about that for a new phrase?) as we head into Friday (the 29th). I’m focused on typing all of the final documentation for a legal proceeding. Suffice it to say our family could use a few extra doses of prayer… please include some for a couple of our family members’ safety.

That’s it for tonight.

Blessings to all of you!

4 thoughts on “Hard days

  • Dearest Diana,
    Naturally it is already the time of the year that our moods can be affected by bad weather or the cold period starting; whatever.
    Pondering about your Mother is naturally, even if you ‘thought’, you never got to know her that well.
    Who knows, it is still a mystery to all of us living, how SHE has touched you since then?! Her soul never died and she remains forever close and your Mother.
    An Angel you can call by name and ask for help during difficult times.
    Prayers are a big thing too.
    Sending you an all around hug,

  • You do have a lot to deal with don’t you? Of course you have my prayers and my support. I understand about some years being harder. The end of September was 31 years since my Mom’s passing and her 99 birthday was October 16. I’m having a difficult time this year. Maybe it’s moving back home around familiar surroundings that I would see her in and now she’s not here. We moved to Spokane just 2 years after she died. Anyway, this year was hard, hard, hard.
    I will be thinking of you and lifting you and your family before the Lord over the next few weeks especially. Feel free to reach out to me if there is anything specific that I can help with.
    Blessings and hugs,

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